April 11

Have you ever woken up to a day filled with questions about life? Well, today is that kind of a day for me. I thought of naming this article something else — some title filled with emotion, but I decided just to call this post April 11, for some reason I will expound on later in this article.

I woke up thinking of a lot of random things like how children are so brave. They just jump into doing things without thinking of the consequences of their actions. From stumbling and falling, they learn things. Then my mind shifted to thinking about working out today. A friend of mine told me that working out really makes you a happier individual. This made me think that this may be the reason why I have been feeling so “blah” for the past year. I haven’t been moving my muscles a lot lately. Then, my mind drifted to the thought of why Pia Wurtzbach, Lisa Soberano and Alice Dixon (my local girl crushes) are so damn hot! In the future, I would love to interview them just to see what they do on a daily basis, because I feel so ugly lately.

Then my mind again drifted to why I feel so insecure about how I look and what I can do. I thought that this may be because I think too much of what other people say and think. I analyze and interpret and then make conclusions already on how they feel about me base on how they treat me. I guess it’s because I’m human, and as human being (and a woman at that … haha!), we have our own intentions for doing things and then formulate certain expectations from others. Bottomline is that I think I should just not care and try loving myself more from now on.

Ej shared with me this very beautiful animation short for the music of Jane Bordeaux Band. I would like to give “slow claps” to the following people, too, who deserve to mentioned for this great animation short:
Producers: Uri Lotan & Yoav Shtibelman / Director: Uri Lotan / Co-Director: Yoav Shtibelman / Art Director: Ovadia Benishu / Additional Art: Avner Geller / Lighting and Shading: Yosef Refaeli / Additional Lighting: Uri Lotan, Rob Showalter / Storyboard: Yoav Shtibelman / Modeling and Rigging: Uri Lotan, Ore Peleg, Or Ofri / Texturing:Yosef Refaeli, Dor Ben-Dayan / Animation: Yoav Shtibelman, Toby Pedersen, Ron Polischuk / Effects: Phenomena Labs / Compositing: Uri Lotan, Ilia Marcus / Colorist: Ilya Marcus

Beautiful animated short! The lyrics are about a girl stuck in a routine while the world changes around her.

from Uri Lotan on Vimeo.

Here are the lyrics in English (translated from Hebrew):
Nights turn into days
Days turn into years
And among them I was going faster in circles
Winds are blowing on me
Blow on the back of my neck
Everything seems too far too big
I’m not moving forward
It’s the time that drifts away
This is another passing train
It’s a further tightening rope (knot)
Sunrises sinking fast
As more seasons pass
And I stay the same in this shortening time
(x2) I’m not moving forward
It’s the time that drifts away
This is another passing train
It’s a further tightening rope (knot)

I really loved this animation short and the lyrics. I love how it captured how I’m currently feeling now. I feel stuck and I feel like time is fleeting so fast. I actually just came from church, because I just had the urge to cry and cry. Manong uber kasi shared his life story and how he found his way when he turned to the Bible, that when I arrived here at Megamall, I wanted to let all the emotions out. From the entrance, it was a long walk to the 5th floor. I felt like a lost child hurrying to see my dad, because I just wanted someone to pour my heart out to.

Whew! That actually worked. I now feel that I can just surrender. Surrender everything — where I’m going, where I’m heading. I’ll just use my talents and continue to help others. Sometimes, we just all need to be reminded that there is something greater than us, a Divine Being, a God, a Lord that will help us make it through. We just have to believe that today (everyday) is the start of living a whole, complete life – the life that we always wanted to live.

April 11 is that day for me.

PS. Animators will want to know about this! 🙂 Animation Jam!