Life Lessons

Talks about Mommy Ginger’s life lessons for Baby Zeeka.

I’m in this cafe that is really comforting for some reason. The voices of other people seem to drown out voices in my head. There are a lot of days and today was one of the shittiest days I have ever had (I apologize for using that term, but I don’t know how else I could describe it). The shittiest days start out really great and perfect that it makes a bad thing seem so huge and unbearable — and shitty.

People think that it’s easy to destroy someone’s life through social media. It is, actually. It is easy to do especially when the person’s a faker. With this, I will give you the truth and the whole truth about me. That way, you, my readers know me and I have nothing to hide.

The truth is i’m not perfect and I have a lot of flaws. Yup, I’m human (surprise, surprise!).

My number one flaw is that I dream big and strive so much. I work so hard to achieve goals that I think would be good for my family, but I stress myself and I allot a lot of time working and less time taking care of myself and my family. In the process, I doubt myself and think if I really made the right choice and decision. Yes, that’s a flaw and it makes me feel like a crazy person. It makes me feel incompetent, sad and lonely. It makes me feel that I’m probably not living the life that was meant for me.

We all glorify people who chase their dreams — those who turn things into unimaginable realities and those who are doing what they love. But when you become a wife and more so, a mom, it’s doubly hard to do so. You have to consider a lot of things and make decisions based on how it will affect your spouse, your child and your family. Will it affect them in anyway? Will they be happy when you decide a certain way? Will they be disappointed? Will you just choose a path that will be better for them and let go of your dreams? Will you continue to chase dreams and seem like the shitty mommy and wife that you will obviously be to a lot of people? Will you just lie and say that you’re happy with your life and just go with the flow and continue to feel empty inside? Will the decision that you make truly make you happy? Is this what you really want out of life?

You have to make tough choices and tough decisions. People think that being a woman in business is easy, that we have got it all covered. We just flash our charming smiles, and everyone bows down to your wishes. But it is not like that at all.

You fall in love. You marry. You have a child. You try to make ends meet and help out by chasing those dreams that you know will make everyone happy, and yet, you are condemned for it by everyone.

You are condemned for not having enough time for your child. You are condemned for making decisions that you made with a different intention, which are perceived differently. You are condemned for wishing and dreaming of a life that you want to have, because again, people think that you are not content with what you have now.

I honestly am contemplating if I should publish this, but I just wanted to share my thoughts tonight. I just wanted to share with you that being a woman is hard. Being an adult is hard. ‘Being’ is hard but that’s life.

Have you ever woken up to a day filled with questions about life? Well, today is that kind of a day for me. I thought of naming this article something else — some title filled with emotion, but I decided just to call this post April 11, for some reason I will expound on later in this article.

I woke up thinking of a lot of random things like how children are so brave. They just jump into doing things without thinking of the consequences of their actions. From stumbling and falling, they learn things. Then my mind shifted to thinking about working out today. A friend of mine told me that working out really makes you a happier individual. This made me think that this may be the reason why I have been feeling so “blah” for the past year. I haven’t been moving my muscles a lot lately. Then, my mind drifted to the thought of why Pia Wurtzbach, Lisa Soberano and Alice Dixon (my local girl crushes) are so damn hot! In the future, I would love to interview them just to see what they do on a daily basis, because I feel so ugly lately.

Then my mind again drifted to why I feel so insecure about how I look and what I can do. I thought that this may be because I think too much of what other people say and think. I analyze and interpret and then make conclusions already on how they feel about me base on how they treat me. I guess it’s because I’m human, and as human being (and a woman at that … haha!), we have our own intentions for doing things and then formulate certain expectations from others. Bottomline is that I think I should just not care and try loving myself more from now on.

Ej shared with me this very beautiful animation short for the music of Jane Bordeaux Band. I would like to give “slow claps” to the following people, too, who deserve to mentioned for this great animation short:
Producers: Uri Lotan & Yoav Shtibelman / Director: Uri Lotan / Co-Director: Yoav Shtibelman / Art Director: Ovadia Benishu / Additional Art: Avner Geller / Lighting and Shading: Yosef Refaeli / Additional Lighting: Uri Lotan, Rob Showalter / Storyboard: Yoav Shtibelman / Modeling and Rigging: Uri Lotan, Ore Peleg, Or Ofri / Texturing:Yosef Refaeli, Dor Ben-Dayan / Animation: Yoav Shtibelman, Toby Pedersen, Ron Polischuk / Effects: Phenomena Labs / Compositing: Uri Lotan, Ilia Marcus / Colorist: Ilya Marcus

Beautiful animated short! The lyrics are about a girl stuck in a routine while the world changes around her.

 

from Uri Lotan on Vimeo.

Here are the lyrics in English (translated from Hebrew):
Nights turn into days
Days turn into years
And among them I was going faster in circles
Winds are blowing on me
Blow on the back of my neck
Everything seems too far too big
I’m not moving forward
It’s the time that drifts away
This is another passing train
It’s a further tightening rope (knot)
Sunrises sinking fast
As more seasons pass
And I stay the same in this shortening time
(x2) I’m not moving forward
It’s the time that drifts away
This is another passing train
It’s a further tightening rope (knot)

I really loved this animation short and the lyrics. I love how it captured how I’m currently feeling now. I feel stuck and I feel like time is fleeting so fast. I actually just came from church, because I just had the urge to cry and cry. Manong uber kasi shared his life story and how he found his way when he turned to the Bible, that when I arrived here at Megamall, I wanted to let all the emotions out. From the entrance, it was a long walk to the 5th floor. I felt like a lost child hurrying to see my dad, because I just wanted someone to pour my heart out to.

Whew! That actually worked. I now feel that I can just surrender. Surrender everything — where I’m going, where I’m heading. I’ll just use my talents and continue to help others. Sometimes, we just all need to be reminded that there is something greater than us, a Divine Being, a God, a Lord that will help us make it through. We just have to believe that today (everyday) is the start of living a whole, complete life – the life that we always wanted to live.

April 11 is that day for me.

PS. Animators will want to know about this! 🙂 Animation Jam!

I forgot to great you all a Happy Easter! It was a long day for me yesterday. I didn’t get to sleep the other night. I just slept a total of 2 hours, so last night, obviously, my body gave up on me. This is not an excuse, but we should show people that you value them more often. This is what I want to share with you today. Before anything else, check out how cute my little darling was yesterday.

Hawaiian Little Cutie

I didn’t even remember kissing my daughter good night last night. I think I did though.

Who invented kisses and hugs? It’s just so amazing that by doing just these two simple things, you can change the world of someone else. By doing just these two things, you need not say anything else; it just says a lot already on how you feel about the person.

I think in this world, where we are constantly busy and constantly striving to make ends meet, we forget to show people how much they mean to us. I know, because I, too have been guilty of such a thing. It seems pitiful that I’m coming up with a list of things to show people that you value them (haha!), but really, we all need a little reminder once in a while. Here are the things in my list:

#1 – Say good morning and good night
I remember a thing that someone said about making sure that you no matter how busy your are, make sure that as parents, try to be the ones to send off and pick up your kids from school. It makes their day better. So this is also something that we can do for the person you care for. Try to say good morning, right after you wake up and try to say good night, just before sleeping. It really can make their day!

#2 – Try to celebrate with them and be present for special occasions
Yup, show people that you value them on their birthdays especially. I’m not a Valentine’s kind of a girl, neither a Holidays type of a person, but I enjoy and love these times, too, but I do love birthdays. I think we all should and we all do, even if we don’t admit it. It’s that one day in the year that you can be selfish and do whatever you want to do. By spending it with someone you love, even if it’s the day before your birthday with birthday salubongs and all, it just shows these people, your family and friends, how much you value them.

#3 – Do random and unexpected little nice things for them during the day that make them smile
Leave little post its with loving notes for them to see in different places, like in a book, or inside their wallet. Message them sweet and little things that show them how much they mean to you. Make them the first one you call when you receive both good news and bad news. This is what people don’t often get. It’s the little things that matter. People don’t expect that you’ll make grand gestures for them, but little stuff count.

#4 – Initiate and don’t wait

We often just wait for our husbands or boyfriends to take us out on dates. We often wait for our children to hug us, before we hug them back. Don’t wait for the perfect or the last moment before you show the person you love how much you value them. There is no such things as the perfect time. Personally, timing’s not an issue. Don’t be the person who regrets not doing things that you have wanted to do with the person you value or don’t put on hold things that you wanted to say, but was scared to say it because timing was off. Don’t wait to show people that you value them.

#5 – Respect their decisions and Listen

We are different people with different personalities, beliefs, desires and opinions. To show other people we value them, we need to respect their decisions. If we don’t agree with them, it’s okay. Listen to what they have to say. Don’t shut them off too quickly. Then, if you still think that you have a point, reason out with them. Try to reach a compromise, but if that doesn’t happen, just accept the fact that you won’t agree on some things, and just respect their decision.

#6 – Make time for them.

No matter how busy you are or no matter how groundbreaking your and revolutionary your job, career or business it, make time for the people you value.

It is really a fast paced world, and there seems as if there was too little of a time to do all the things that you need and love doing. Show people that you value them. Never delay or postpone things that would make the people you value feel special though, or it may be too late.

It’s 5:00 am and I know I should be sleeping, but for some reason, I couldn’t sleep again. So I did the inevitable and got my laptop and now, I’m writing this after looking through my life list. For a few days now, I have been busy with a lot of tasks for the different businesses that I have, so I haven’t had time to write. It’s been bugging me. I’m glad that the universe found a way to give me this time for writing.

Yesterday, on our way home, I was filled with energy and gusto for life. I was telling my husband that I think there is not enough hours in a day for all the work that I want to accomplish. I was telling him how excited I am for Monday, when I could start working again. I never felt anything like this when I was still employed. I know that this may sound crazy, but really, I never had the same zest for doing something greater.

MG - FB POST

Anyway, I think this zest, this passion, or whatever you want to call it, may be the reason why I am up this early. I woke up and I just wanted to grab my laptop and work or blog. When I opened my computer, I was drawn to read my life list. As I was reading it, I realized that there were a lot of things that I wanted to remove and I wanted to add. I realized something more important, too, that a lot of the things there were things that I wanted to do for others and not really something for myself. I realized that this was true for those that I have already accomplished and for those that I have yet to accomplish.

Looking through my life list gave me the renewed passion that I have for life. It gave me a clearer picture of who I am as a person and what I really want to achieve or do with my life. I highly recommend that you create your own list.

Here is my list: http://mommyginger.com/my-life-list

Recently, I was asked by Style Weekend of Manila Bulletin to be featured for the Woman@Work section, where they feature the everyday style of fashionable women! I had to submit OOTDs. I quickly went through possibly thousands of files but to no avail, I think I only saw 1 OOTD picture. I read the email again and every time I would reach the word “fashionable”, I would blink again.

I think I have never been fashionable. I have tried, once in my ancient past, to be one fashionable lady. Oh, I even have a Lookbook account (for heaven’s sake, please do not check it!). But, I have constantly failed in that department. I know that I have what it takes to come up with a great ensemble. I have styled others, but when it comes to myself, I have constantly failed.

See! I have no SEXY bone in my body... :) haha!

See! I have no SEXY bone in my body… 🙂 haha!


And I know why… (of course, this over thinker knows why).

My why’s lie within the realm of a perceptions that I (throughout the years) have believed to be my TRUTH.

Perception: Only the SEXY ladies look good in picture

I think that there are two kinds of women in the world — the sexy ones and the cute ones. The sexy ones are those who can take perfect selfies, even without filters. Even as a woman, I love looking at their social media accounts since everything seems so perfect. They know their angles (whatever that means) and they just come off as confident, attractive and bold (for both men and women, actually).

I could never pass as sexy. When people compliment me, the highest form of flattery would be something with cute in it.

Hey, Ginj… Cute shoes.

Cute hair.

Cute dimple.

Cute dress.

Cute smile.

Okay, okay! I get it already! Even if I try to be flirtatious, sexy, bold and daring, I still come off as cute. Thus, I hardly take OOTD pictures. All of pictures that I take of myself seem like I’m just going to the mall for coffee or sometimes, it even looks like I haven’t taken a shower and just decided that my pajamas was worthy of an OOTD picture.

Check out this video from Buzzfeed and empathize with me, please. Haha!

But, kidding aside, we CUTE women can create amazing OOTDs, too. We can take amazing selfies, too (even if we start with taking selfies on Snapchat where we only have 5 friends). Hey, that’s fine! That’s a good start. The world needs a dose of cuteness and we are here to BRING IT! We need to claim 2016 as our year!

We should start building confidence. We should start believing in ourselves more. We have our own sense of style and even if it comes out as cute, as weird, as geeky or as uninspiring as people say it is, this is an expression of who we are — and WE are beautiful. If you see that flab in your arm or that little belly fat, it’s okay. Love yourself! Forgive yourself for taking that slice of chocolate cake, girl! We live only once.

So are you cute or sexy? Now you know it shouldn’t matter. The most important thing is that you are happy. It shouldn’t matter what other people say.

You are sexy, beautiful!

 

You’re equally sexy friend,

Mommy Ginger

Mommy Ginger