My husband and I, we’re only human. We may come across as a mellow and fun couple, but we do fight. Both of us are very vocal and so when we fight, you can just imagine how it is. Ratatatataaa, like guns being fired from both sides.
Although, we’ve never really stayed mad at each other for long. And even if we have an argument in the evening, we make it a point not to go to sleep mad at each other. That’s one of the things that we have learned during our Discovery Weekend (pre-cana seminar). I just think that if you don’t resolve the problem right away, it tends to grow bigger. I have the tendency to flee from ‘war’ and just hide in one corner until the problem’s gone, so i’m really thankful that my husband is the type that says ‘let’s talk this over please’ before I really get the chance to run and hide.
I run and hide because i’m the type that hates talking if it’s an argument. I’m just good at talking if it’s about other stuff.
What I normally do is let off steam by running on the treadmill first before talking to my husband. What I have noticed is that I’m not that aggitated anymore after running. And, when it comes to speaking, i’ve learned to listen and speak in a low tone. I wasn’t like this before. I would oftentimes raise my voice, but I have realized that speaking louder doesn’t make your argument stronger and correct.
In fighting, you need to place respect above anything else. Don’t let your emotions get the better part of you. Don’t just blurt out things just because you’re mad. Don’t end up saying things that you would regret. Remember that your partner is also human, with feelings that can easily get hurt. This goes for us women especially, who think that men can handle any type of emotional pressure. They can’t. Again, they are only human.
Another tip that I learned is to try holding each other’s hand when you argue. It reminds each of you that you love each other and this is just a phase in your lives that you have to go through. Also, learn to listen during an argument. Don’t just talk and talk. Remember that the end goal is to resolve this issue and see that what you are fighting about never happens again.
Try to work on a compromise. Swallow your pride. In a marriage, love comes first and not pride.
So, how about you? How do you fight?
for me. i dont know anything at all when ever were fighting i dont know if its me or nothing but me. my husband well not yet were not married though we had a 3months baby. we dont talk when were fighting he always do is forget and just let time past not talking. so patungpatong na that when i spill out all the angryness in me in the end i will be the wrong one. laging syang may patama na ako lagi ang mali. and now because i don’t want to start any fight, days past that im just silent wala kaming usapan tamang usao lang sa bagay na isang tanong isang sagot and hes so insensitive i want him to ask me what wrong. hay this is so hard for me talaga. minsan i would say i wanna give up and just doing this because of the child. i really dont know what to do ?! and how to handle this kind of situation because hes my forever first serious boyfriend and now the father of my baby. 🙁 this is so sad for me.
Hi Mommy Rosemarie! Thank you for pouring your heart out. I think that it’s important that you talk about it and tell him how you feel. Of course, try to speak softly and listen, too. Sometimes, we ladies are guilty of talking and talking without really listening 🙂 Try to go on a date and talk a out it 🙂