It was a Sunday in the month of July 2012 when I found out that I was pregnant. It was the best day of my life… well, apart from my wedding day. I rushed to Ej, who was sitting at the ‘kabisera’ of our dining table. I remember that day vividly. I showed him the home pregnancy test result. He said “what’s this?”, then after a few seconds, I got a tight hug. We went to my OB that Wednesday just to be sure. I had my first trans-vaginal ultrasound and the doctor confirmed that I was pregnant. I was so happy! I called my mom and dad to tell them that they were going to be grandparents and they were all shouting with glee at the other end of the line.
TWO YEARS AGO…
For those who do not know, our story two years ago (May 2010) elicited a different reaction from all of us. It was February 2010 when I found out that I was pregnant. We thought everything was perfect. It was during the second ultrasound that we found out that I had a blighted ovum or an anembryonic pregnancy. This is when the fertilized egg clings to the uterine wall but does not develop further. It then needs to cleaned out of a woman’s system through D&C. I was emotionally affected, since I was really hoping to have a child, but 10 days after my D&C, I realized that this was not the end of our problems.
I was in a dinner at my ninang’s house when I suddenly bled profusely. I was rushed to the ER of Medical City and was advised to stay overnight. They had me undergo another ultrasound and found out that my placenta was still there and not completely cleaned. Early that morning, I was scheduled for another D&C. The findings came out after a few days and they were surprised again to see that they placenta was still there even with 2 D&C operations. At that time, I sought and explanation from 2 obstetricians. One of them mentioned to go to Dra. Diana Sarmiento in Asian Hospital as she would be an expert in Gestational Trophoblastic diseases. This was what doctors told me I may have had.
When I saw Dra. Sarmiento, she mentioned that I may have what they call Placenta Accreta. This is when the placenta deeply attaches to the uterus. In the States, the cure that they suggest and take always is an abdominal hysterectomy. Since I did not have any children yet, Dra. suggested that we try low dosages of chemotherapy until my HcG levels return to normal. I had to go to the doctor to be injected daily (one course was 5 consecutive days). I had the choice to stay at the hospital to have it through IV, but I chose injections. I had to wear a mask all the time. People had to take a bath and put alcohol before visiting me in my room. Even my husband went straight to the bathroom before he could see me, since my immune system was low.
After two courses with a 3 day gap in between, I was cured. I had to rest though from strenuous physical activities and from baby-making activities for at least 1 year. I was on the pill as recommended by doctora, since I could not risk getting pregnant. It was a traumatic experience for me. I thought I was dying. I really thought so. During that 12 month duration of resting and even afterwards, I was really scared of getting pregnant. I didn’t want that to happen again.
This was the year when I gathered enough courage and prepared myself physically, emotionally and spiritually. So, in July 2012, I got preggy! Yey! The minute I got pregnant, I knew that this was my priority. During the first trimester, I didn’t feel good. I had morning sickness and during my 10th week, I experienced spotting. I was working for a bank and I was actually in a Leadership Accelerated Development Program, which gave me the chance to be an AVP within a few years (probably around 5 years). It was already my third year into the program. I have been in the bank for almost 7 years and I enjoyed my job. I really enjoyed it! You can ask my husband on how he teases me that I love the bank more than him. 🙂 Everything was going well for me. I had big projects. I was producing results. But then, I decided to leave.
THE BIG LEAP
I really thought about it long and hard. It wasn’t an easy decision. I’m the workaholic type. I love being surrounded by people and loved filling in my calendar with things to do (yes, I’m a nerd). I knew that if I finally decide to resign, this will definitely be a big change. No steady income. No benefits. No meetings. No people to talk to on a daily basis. No deadlines. No presentations. No lunch breaks. No overtime. No title. No promotions. No bosses. Nothing of all these things. It will just be me, my baby in my belly, the maid and the condo unit… and my husband when he arrives. I’ve been so used to the corporate environment, that when EJ and I made the decision that I should quit for the baby, I was constantly crying. I didn’t know why. I didn’t know if it was a sign of relief that I didn’t have to go to work (happy cry). I didn’t know if it was the over-achiever in me who was crying — scared of not earning anything and contributing anything to the household budget. Maybe it was also because I knew that I will miss my friends and this life that I had in the corporate world — fear of letting go and fear of change.
But then again, I went back to priorities. My child, in this womb, was my number 1 priority. I had to let go of all stress and just concentrate on being a stay-at-home-mom. Our long term goal, too, as a couple was that I be in charge of starting a business that we can take care of in the future. EJ will be the source of the ‘steady income’ for our household. Ej encouraged me to follow my dreams. He said that I was the more ‘entrepreneurial’ one of the two of us. As to what business that is that I will build for the both of us, I still have no clue on what to do. Anyway, reflecting on what was important for us as a family was what made me decide. I took the big leap out from that world.
How has it been so far? Let me start by saying God is so good. Early 2012, I started helping people conduct their own workshops and seminars. I was sort of the logistics and the implementer. I enjoy these things since I get to help other people achieve their dreams of being an entrepreneur — since most of the workshops were skills on professions or businesses that they can do. The brand that I created was Manila Workshops.
I then realized that I enjoyed helping people achieve both their personal and professional goals in life. I resigned in October 2012 and in the two months that I have been ‘mostly’ at home, I have built my network and I have shared this passion I have with others. With this, my 2013 calendar is almost full, thus, requiring me to even think of hiring an intern for the month I will be indisposed due to my pregnancy. I have built partnerships with people and I have seen people happy and grateful for giving them the opportunity to learn.
I am excited for 2013! Now, all that doubt of leaving the life I was contented with is gone. I now have something to strive for and to work on (as a work-at-home-mom), and what makes me happy is that I get to help others in this journey.
This is my story.