TIPS FOR ASPIRING MOM BLOGGERS PART 3 – Building Confidence and Influence

Let’s talk about Confidence and Influence: Photo by Elijah Macleod on Unsplash

Zeeka, my daughter, was dancing like crazy again last night. She has this habit of singing original songs with lyrics she invents. She then performs in front of her able and willing “audience”, which is no other than me and my husband, at least 2 times a week. Not an ounce of shyness or hesitation can be traced in her voice and actions.

She gave us singing lessons last night. And again, we had to comply when she said that we had to individually sing our own original songs. Of course, for the most part, me and my husband both giggled our way to the end of our song (and thought it silly to be doing this). Our 6 year old teacher was obviously disappointed and angry that we weren’t taking things seriously.

Confidence and Influence

I am amazed at the confidence of little children. This is something that led me to write about how can we, as bloggers, build confidence. First off, confidence is important in our line of work or in anything in life for that matter, since it leads to success. Having lack of confidence lead to doing nothing or inaction. Make sense, right?

When you are confident, you say yes to opportunities. You don’t let fear stop you from doing the things that you love doing and the things that you’re curious in trying. When you blog, your life is an open book for everyone to see. If you’re not confident enough, other people’s comments will affect you and may even affect your decisions.

I think it was apt to talk about confidence and influence in the same article, because if you want to influence someone, you yourself should be convinced by YOU. Dale Carnegie was right to link Confidence and Influence, but he talks about if from the point of view of public speaking. Let me write about though from the perspective of being a blogger.

Salespeople won’t be able to influence and close a deal if they themselves are not confident when it comes to explaining the product or service that they’re selling. In blogging, it’s the same thing. If you’re not convinced that people will read your blog post, then people will definitely not read it.

And persuading people or influencing people all boils down Aristotle’s Ethos, Pathos and Logos.

Ethos refers to the blogger’s character. And when reader’s read your blog for the first time, they “judge” you base on the filters that you use on pictures that you post, how many sentences are grammatically erroneous, your blog topics or what you love to write about, etc. All of these things. People are oftentimes looking for “someone” online — either to befriend, emulate, rekindle a relationship with, criticise, etc. So who are you to these people?

Pathos comes into the picture when the blogger uses emotions to influence an audience. The emotions that can use may be humor, pity, sadness, longing, happiness, envy (even), etc. People who have gone through a similar emotion or have experienced this emotion would likely read and follow your blogs. We know that we are rational creatures, but there are times that we make irrational decisions (I admittedly make lots of these! haha).

The last one is Logos or the use of reason. Sad to say, in influencing people, this is the least important. This is the reason why marketers, researchers, psychologists have tons of research about how people behave and act, because we often don’t act based on “logic and reason”. As my husband always says, we humans justify our decisions. Even if we make a wrong decision that puts us at harm, we still justify and give a whole list of reasons why we chose that.

So there you have it, aspiring and current bloggers. These are my own thoughts on confidence and influence. I hope that this post made you think about your own view on Influence. If you want to join the conversation, feel free to comment below.

By the way, we’re thinking of coming up with a blogging workshop. If you want to be invited to reserve a seat, feel free to fill this out: https://goo.gl/forms/JMUQ7PeAX4XHNBFn1

Thank you for the people who have already filled out the form! 🙂 You’ll hear from me soon!

Cute or Sexy and the Reason Why I don’t Take OOTD Pictures

Recently, I was asked by Style Weekend of Manila Bulletin to be featured for the Woman@Work section, where they feature the everyday style of fashionable women! I had to submit OOTDs. I quickly went through possibly thousands of files but to no avail, I think I only saw 1 OOTD picture. I read the email again and every time I would reach the word “fashionable”, I would blink again.

I think I have never been fashionable. I have tried, once in my ancient past, to be one fashionable lady. Oh, I even have a Lookbook account (for heaven’s sake, please do not check it!). But, I have constantly failed in that department. I know that I have what it takes to come up with a great ensemble. I have styled others, but when it comes to myself, I have constantly failed.

See! I have no SEXY bone in my body... :) haha!

See! I have no SEXY bone in my body… 🙂 haha!


And I know why… (of course, this over thinker knows why).

My why’s lie within the realm of a perceptions that I (throughout the years) have believed to be my TRUTH.

Perception: Only the SEXY ladies look good in picture

I think that there are two kinds of women in the world — the sexy ones and the cute ones. The sexy ones are those who can take perfect selfies, even without filters. Even as a woman, I love looking at their social media accounts since everything seems so perfect. They know their angles (whatever that means) and they just come off as confident, attractive and bold (for both men and women, actually).

I could never pass as sexy. When people compliment me, the highest form of flattery would be something with cute in it.

Hey, Ginj… Cute shoes.

Cute hair.

Cute dimple.

Cute dress.

Cute smile.

Okay, okay! I get it already! Even if I try to be flirtatious, sexy, bold and daring, I still come off as cute. Thus, I hardly take OOTD pictures. All of pictures that I take of myself seem like I’m just going to the mall for coffee or sometimes, it even looks like I haven’t taken a shower and just decided that my pajamas was worthy of an OOTD picture.

Check out this video from Buzzfeed and empathize with me, please. Haha!

But, kidding aside, we CUTE women can create amazing OOTDs, too. We can take amazing selfies, too (even if we start with taking selfies on Snapchat where we only have 5 friends). Hey, that’s fine! That’s a good start. The world needs a dose of cuteness and we are here to BRING IT! We need to claim 2016 as our year!

We should start building confidence. We should start believing in ourselves more. We have our own sense of style and even if it comes out as cute, as weird, as geeky or as uninspiring as people say it is, this is an expression of who we are — and WE are beautiful. If you see that flab in your arm or that little belly fat, it’s okay. Love yourself! Forgive yourself for taking that slice of chocolate cake, girl! We live only once.

So are you cute or sexy? Now you know it shouldn’t matter. The most important thing is that you are happy. It shouldn’t matter what other people say.

You are sexy, beautiful!

 

You’re equally sexy friend,

Mommy Ginger

Mommy Ginger