But with motherhood came what I had feared most — losing control, losing my marriage, losing myself.Frances Amper Sales, Author, Not Invisible
I had the same fears. It was so apt that Frances, a writer and a very good friend of mine brought it up in her newly released book, Not Invisible A Memoir. Now that I’m expecting my second child, my now sort-of “balanced” emotional, physical, financial and mental state is tipping once again. After getting the groove in raising a daughter, gaining back time with my husband, creating and growing a business, and feeling that I’m myself once again, I’m again scared that things are about to change drastically again.
I would say that what scared me the most before I had Zeeka (our daughter) was how much my life would change after I would give birth to her. I was a workaholic. Okay, fine… I still am, but I knew that having her around would mean that I needed to set my priorities straight. She would be our number one. And of course, next would come our relationship as husband and wife, and all other things would come after. And to support all of these things, I, as a person and now as a mom, needed to be strong, more spiritually and emotionally grounded and FULL in every way.
And I later on realized that I didn’t have to be perfect all the time. It was enjoying the journey with my family that mattered.
It was a blessing that I got to read Not Invisible A Memoir before having this second child. Frances’ experiences with her mom, her husband and kids and her realizations just helped me build that courage and strength again to not be fearful of what is to come. It reminded me about the things that I love about being a mother and a wife. Squeezing in this cute Motherhood story here. It reminded me that motherhood comes not only with sacrifices or fears, but with unconditional love that comes from all directions.
Unfortunately, there isn’t a motherhood bible that we can refer to, but it’s so nice to read stories from other moms, like Frances.
What I loved about the book was the authenticity and the realness of her stories. I know Frances and I could hear her talking to me as I read her book. Frances writes everything in such a charming, no holds barred way, which I truly just love. You can count on her to tell it as it is. She just has this unique way of pouring herself out and using words that really move you.
If ever you do read this, Frances, I’m so proud of you. You mentioned in your book that by 40, all women are amazing but you don’t feel like anything is happening to you. Let me tell you as a reader of Not Invisible A Memoir, that this book is truly amazing. I know that women, moms especially, who read this will feel heard and seen.
We may have different actual experiences and different lives to live, but what bonds us all are is our desire to help each other be better moms, better wives and ultimately, better versions of ourselves.
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